The Retirement Plan

Thing is, when one is old and kaput, one doesn’t want to be bothered with retiring and the rest of the gimmicks associated with a happy and fruitful retirement period. Or so one hope and pray one’s retirement will be!

You need to read this article right to the end, else you will never understand why you are going to die waiting in your glorified retirement box!

You have seen it all around you, haven’t you? One labor and slave forever, saving and hocking and stashing money in every conceivable legal and proven system and method.

Finally, one retires to enjoy one’s golden years. The retirement is bliss at first, and one sit back relaxed and relaxing. Nothing can go wrong now, one has slaved many years to get the stash of cash build up to last one the last and remaining few years,

But as it is, one is human, and one now takes extra care of one’s health. Long walks, plenty fresh food and vegetables, cutting back on the fatty foods and trying everything in the book to extend one’s years remaining on this planet.

During one’s working years, one skimped on most things, just to be able to put away enough money to sustain one’s lifestyle.

One save and save and save.....

One realizes that one must cut back on the luxuries during the retirement period, and therefore one adopted a so-called healthier and less costly lifestyle. The kids will help to provide where one fall short, or so one reason. But the kids are young, and they are doing irresponsible deeds and they make stupid investments, don’t they? Well, not all of them and not all the time. But a great number of parents entering the retirement phase of their lives faces this child problem. They must dig into their savings to bail the kids, and we all know that once one has spent that money, one cannot replace it, can one?

As I have mentioned in an earlier document explaining “Retirement” or shall I say Our Way of Retiring. My way is not the best way, and I am sure that there are nearly one million retirement plans available for you to choose from, and that is only in your immediate area. One sees the advertisements on Television, on Social Media Platforms, in the good old-fashioned news print or as it is known, Newspapers. The Dailies. Every Tom, Dick and Harry has a Magic Retirement Plan, and each one guarantee a very satisfying retirement. Including in those plans are the ever-present frail care, the free ride in the undertaker’s van, and assisted burials.

Our Special Burial Plan, FREE!

Speaking about burials and the likes. We offer to you, our fellow retired member, the opportunity to part take in our exclusive burial service. We have a plot of land suitable for growing all sorts of fruit and other trees. The plan is to have you, if you so feel, select a plot and a type of tree you would like to support when you have died. We plan to bury the person in a cloth or hessian sack, and then plant the tree of choice on the body. It goes without saying that the body will decompose, and the resulting decomposed matter will feed the young tree. Then, at any time, whenever the family members so wish, can visit the treed park, camp a little while, walk all over the area, and generally enjoy the tranquil and peaceful surrounds. The visitors may pick and used the fruit of any of the trees, and it is all free! The burial, the tree, the lot, including the family visits afterwards. No one need to pay a penny for anything!

The Kids and Others.

These plans are very popular with just about every older person and the same person’s kid or kids. The kids are but too happy to help pay to the fare to incarcerate the parent in this canned old age system where money will mind them day after day, and wipe their noses and arses around the clock. This idea or system folks, are the real reality of the getting and being old issue these days. Those parents who were unfortunate too had to bail the kids, obviously won’t have any of the frail care and tender and mindful arse wiping and nose cleaning, will they? They must live day to day, trying to stretch their money to make it from month to month. A real horror, and not retirement at all.

Any which way you look at it, it is a real stinker. When you have money, and the kids are rich, they don’t want to have you around, because you cramp their style, therefor they pay with a smile to have you boxed in kind of Rabbit Hutch, allowing you to wait in style for your last hour on this planet. When you are poor, same thing. You sit and panic day by day about how you are going to live to the next day.

It is a stinker, isn't it?

Both ways are real bummers, and I am sure that many of you reading this reckon, nah, this shit can’t and will not happen to me! OK, so you have won this round, haven’t you? You know exactly how much money you are going to need to live the exact number of days, weeks, months or years of your fabulous retirement! You know the exact amount of money you will require, the exact cost of your retired life, the exact cost of covering you, your spouse and the family dog and cat until you die, and then, when you die, the remaining married partner will live exactly so long to use all the money making sure nothing is left over for the corrupt Government and Vultures. You have calculated, and you are very sure that the day and hour the last of the two partners in this marriage will be able to do all and everything and when the last one dies, the dog and cat will also die, and the money will be gone. Not a cent left for any gold digger! I salute you! Ten out of Ten, my friend!

Check out our plan.... 

Our plan is a little different from all the plans you have ever heard of. First, you don’t need to try and hoard your cash for many years to enable you to retire in style! Secondly, you don’t need to be old to retire. In fact, the younger you are, the better you can enjoy your life!

We have in our ownership a piece of land, quite large, and this piece of land is ours for 99 years! Remaining on the lease is 78 years. We can and of course will renew the lease if the need arises for this.

You need to research this fact extensively, and even travel to Malawi for a month or two at a time, again and again, to different areas to familiarize yourself with the lie of the land. Whilst there, check out the local government and enquire about securing a 99-year lease on a property of your choice. You will find that to be able to secure a lease of any description or kind, and to own or lease property, is extremely difficult, and might take you up to and perhaps longer than ten years to achieve. You are very welcome to do your own thing, and who knows, we might meet somewhere in Malawi one sunny day?

Or you could do it our way.

We offer a plot of land of about two acres with a three bedroom, all on-suite cottage with all the fittings, trimmings, furniture and the rest of the bits to enable one to live a life of relative luxury in a natural and healthy environment. Wild life, and so many trees and plants exactly as it was a hundred years ago. We offer a cottage as mentioned in a village owned by our retired members. When you invest in a cottage, you become part of our family.

The price is fixed for any cottage, and it is up to you if you want to add bits to the garden or perhaps a second boat. Yes, as part of the deal, you get a 20 feet hardwood boat with four oars, tied up at the lake shore near your cottage. We are going to build only 30 cottages, and of course the clubhouse (first) and some other buildings like a clinic, workshop, garages, and general-purpose store rooms. The price for one cottage is 12 installments of $8500.00.

You may add an outboard motor if you want, or you could make use of the locals to row you and your boat anywhere on the lake. Or you could make use of the share outboard motors!

Another bonus is that you will be exposed to hiking trails and long distance 4 x 4 travelling, right up to Pointe Noire, in the Republic of the Congo, or to our main cottage and “Head Office” at Lake Inongo. By the by, when you travel that route, you will build an overnight camp, or you might enjoy it so much and stay for a week! One word of warning though, when you build a camp, be sure that you will have at least thirty to fifty visitors over the week you remain camping. But not to worry, the visitors will not harm you, nor will they be any sort of danger to you. they want to sell gold nuggets and diamonds they panned in the rivers feeding the mighty Congo River.

Buckets of gold, and not only the panned stuff, the living is Gold!

It is up to you if you want to buy any of the offered gold or diamonds. The going rate would be round about three American Dollars for a soon full. Mixed or separate. Thing is, once you have bought gold and diamonds going to Pointe Noire and back, you might have as much as half a kilo worth of stones and nuggets. I bit of a nuisance, because you can take it home, but you can’t really go and sell it, can you now?

If you want a cottage, bear in mind that at this point in time, it is our idea and wish to establish this retirement village, and this is also the reason why we say you don’t have to be old to retire. Anyone could join, as long as you realize that your entry fee or subscription fee is the purchase of a cottage as mentioned. But before you make any move, visit Malawi two or three or four times, and check out the living and the rest of it.

The village will have a clinic, a library, a clubhouse, and all kinds of fun things to do and to enjoy.

Initially, the clubhouse will be the “Transition” area. The clubhouse will have thirty rooms, a kitchen, and a general lounge area. Once the thirty retirement members have bought their individual cottages, they will live in this clubhouse waiting for their cottages to be completed.

laughing Click on the image to email us if you want to buy a cottage! laughing

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